now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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