Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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