i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize