you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
