She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
