I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize