those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
