She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
