just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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