I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize