i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
