i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
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I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
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I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her