Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?