We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?