i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
