I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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