my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize