She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
