Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
