I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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