After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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