Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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