My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
