if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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