He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I AM VODKA MAN
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize