We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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