I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
