He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
