I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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