Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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