So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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