So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
