It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
