would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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