dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
