scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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