and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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