How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
