I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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