Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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