dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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