3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
