no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
