end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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