im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
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I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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