you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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