I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
