Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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