I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
