some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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