Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
