Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
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maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
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.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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