Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
