kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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