Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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