i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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