Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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