oh god the rape fog is back!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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