YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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