Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
