I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am puke
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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