i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest