Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard